What I Learned on My Summer Vacation

As I write this paragraph, one year ago we were boarding a plane to Lisbon. It's deceiving in the way time so often is. In one sense, it feels like just yesterday, but in another, it feels more like a decade. That's just the way time well spent always seems to unfold, though.

 

The course of one year brings so much, and that was certainly the case for us. It's been an incredible year -- the best year, if I'm truly counting -- but the part that went by fast has also made clarity on what the year means as ungraspable as the amount of time itself. Maybe that clarity will never come in situ, and perhaps that is exhibit A for moving back, to galvanize this entire experience, but those are all thoughts and conversations for a later time. Certainly not things to discuss in the midst of what I learned on my summer vacation. Here they are, subject by subject:

 

HISTORY: SANTOS POPULARES

 

Let's start at the beginning. When they say the month of June is filled with festivals in Lisbon, what they mean is the month of June is filled with festivals beginning on the last night of May, which I accidentally discovered on a walk through Alfama on a Friday evening. It began my month of discovery into everything Santos Populares, a festival honoring many different saints highlighted by the Feast of St. Antonio and a street party on the night of the 12th that raged until the sun came up in every corner of the city. I approached June with some anxiety that I wouldn't fully understand how to experience everything because there was simply so much, but when you experience something enough, you begin to grasp it. Each neighborhood has its own arraial, or festival, that includes grilled sardines, bifana sandwiches, caracois (snails), wine, beer, music, games, rides, and so much more. They are filled with families, small children commonplace well into the early hours of the morning. And then there's the pimba music, a cheesy, festival-style sound that is reminiscent of German schlager in sound and result -- exuberant people everywhere, dancing through the streets. With so many guests in June, I was "forced" to share this cultural experience with everyone. I can now say I understand it, at least in part.

 

LITERATURE: OLIVER TWIST

 

One of the crowning moments of the year was to see Sebastian in the title role of his school's production of Oliver Twist. I could not be prouder of the way he committed himself to the performance, to learning his lines (with a British accent), and practicing his songs. The effort his teachers put into the production was brilliant. I was expecting a middle school play, and what they presented was so much more. To have the Gentrys in town for it made the evening even more special. In many ways, it was a microcosm of the entire year for Sebastian -- one filled with the unknown, with some fear mixed into his excitement, and ending with overwhelming success.

 

MUSIC & PE: CONCERTS & THE EUROS

 

One of the most anticipated events of the year was the European Championships. It was a bit disappointing for Portugal to go out in the quarterfinals, but it was a fun run nonetheless, one we got to experience with so many guests and friends. Geller and I had an awesome lunch in Alfama during one of the games while the girls took the kids to the Olivio Rodrigo concert. Hard pass. No thanks. But I did manage to attend my first ever pop music concert when Sebastian got me a ticket "for my birthday" to see Dua Lipa. It was fun seeing him so excited, but it was actually part of a bigger music fest, so we got to see other bands, as well, including Nathaniel Rateliff -- all the way from Denver. To see him in Lisbon with so many Portuguese enthusiasts in attendance was interesting. Music, like football, is defined by borders but always goes beyond them.

 

ART: THE BEAUTY OF LISBOA

 

Even a year later, I find myself in situations admiring the beauty of this city. Whether it's the purple of the jacaranda trees in early June or the spectacular afternoon sunlight on the famous Portuguese azulejos tiles or the creativity on a wall of street art or graffiti, the ramshackle charms of Lisboa just keep coming and coming. And I don't give a shit if I'm not a tourist. I will stop, take my phone out, and learn all the techniques available to try to create an amazing photo that attempts to capture what a beautiful city this is. When you think about it, we have $1,000 cameras in our pockets at all times, so why not use them?

 

POLITICS: PUTTING THE CONSERVATION IN CONSERVATIVE

 

When we drove down to the Algarve to meet Kristin and Mason, one of the highlights was getting to do something we didn't get to do last year -- enter the Benagil Cave. Yes, this is one of the most highlighted tourist spots in the country (and most photographed), but you can clearly see why. We entered the cave on kayaks, guided by a young kid who was extremely knowledgeable about geology, history, and politics. Apparently, the large motor boats were banned from entering the caves, but the police overlook it because the motor boat tour companies are owned by the politicians.

 

I had to pry. I explained that we live in Portugal, and I'm trying to learn more about the political landscape of a very progressive country that just saw 20 percent of its electorate vote for the extreme right-wing Chega party in the March election. And where did Chega collect a majority of their territory on the election map (which is much more than just red and blue here in Portugal)? In the Algarve. Chega turned the Algarve completely black, and apparently, they used a narrative of "preserving our coastline from tourism and profiteering" as part of their platform in the region. Yes, the uber-conservative movement in Portugal actually used conservation as part of their platform. While conservation was part of the conservative movement in the United States at one point (see: Teddy Roosevelt), the right-wing movements are completely void of it today. Sure, as many here in Portugal say, Chega will promise anything they can to get votes (messages of conservation in the south could be completely different in the north). Still, it was incredible to hear of a far-right conservative movement actually adhering to part of what that definition really means.

 

GEOGRAPHY: VALENCIA VS. LISBOA

 

When we were planning this adventure, after months of research, we boiled down our options to two cities -- Valencia or Lisbon. Ultimately, we took our first scouting trip to Lisbon, and Sebastian and I were done. We didn't need to see anyplace else. Eventually, Alli got on board, as well, and we never wound up taking a scouting trip to Valencia. So, when the Duarts wanted to take their vacation in Spain, we decided we would meet them in Valencia and then travel by train to Sevilla, a place where Alli and I had both been before.

 

The heat in Spain was real. We had not experienced anything like that in Lisbon yet, so when we arrived in Valencia, my first impression was one I conceived to be a truth when we were considering it. Valencia is a lot like Florida. It's hot and humid. It has many palm trees. It's spread out. And the beaches there are a lot like the Florida beaches, different from the rocky shorelines of Portugal, for sure. The city, especially the old town between the city walls, became a fun maze to wander on the hot summer nights. We discovered agua de Valencia, a cocktail made with fresh orange juice. We went to Hemingway's favorite restaurant and learned about him on a walking tour. We toured the cathedral and saw what many consider to be the Holy Grail. Basically, Valencia checked all the boxes a cool European city would check, and I left there thinking that landing in Valencia would have worked out just fine. I also left Valencia thinking that I was extremely grateful we'd be landing back in Lisbon at the end of our trip. Like I said to Alli, when I come back from vacation and still feel like I'm on vacation even though I have to jump right back into everyday life, it's a good sign we made the right choice.

 

MATH: FRIENDS AND FAMILY

 

If I did the addition right, we had nine different sets of visitors in just over two months. While some were just quick dinners or meetups and others involved traveling with people, we were grateful to see everyone and to share a small slice of what we now call home. In many cases, we spent more time with people here in Lisbon than we might spend with them over the course of an entire year -- maybe even longer. In the end, we learned more about all the great people we've kept in touch with over the decades, from people we met through Sebastian's elementary school experience at Whittier to our own grade school classmates to lifelong friends we met in college to time we spent with our awesome godchildren to friends who deviated their vacation itinerary so they could spend time with me at 50. We learned we have family that we would choose as friends. We learned we have friends we consider family. And we learned that one of the key quotients in a fulfilling life is finding the friends and family that complete your formula.

 

I also learned that I hate the last-night-of-vacation blues. I saw it so many times with so many people -- the discussions about what time to leave for the airport or when to head back to the hotel to pack or the reminders of things we need to do when we get back to the States -- and that made me even more grateful that my vacation wasn't ending and I could just stay here in Lisboa.

 

Time is flying, and we only have a few more weeks of summer break! And, as I write this blog, we have come (and gone) to the one-year mark of living abroad! 

We’ve had a great summer so far, filled with local activities, trips to new places, BBQ, pool and beach time with local friends, and lots of friend and family visits from back home. Everyone asks if we’re getting tired of visitors or hosting people in our adopted country, and my answer is always no. And I mean it. But more on that later.

Sebastian finished his first school year abroad strong, not only with glowing marks and feedback from his teachers, but also with his lead role in Oliver! It was a smashing success, and all of the kids did so well in their respective roles. For his part, Sebastian knocked it out of the park. He nailed his solos and knew all of his lines and choreography. He WAS Oliver. I could not be any prouder of him and didn’t stop smiling from start to finish (except when I was crying). It was even more special that the Gentrys timed their arrival just in time for the show, so he had even more family rooting him on front and center in the audience. It felt like a perfect finale to his first year of middle school.

Once school was over, the summer officially turned into summer vacation. This, my first ever summer off work with Sebastian, turned it into Camp Mom! Some days we enjoyed sleeping late and being lazy around the house. Some days we planned fun activities around the city. Some days were simply beach days. But most days were planned around different visitors and all of the fun things we did with each of them.

June is a very busy and very fun month in Portugal with Festas dos Santos Populares (Popular Saints Festival) on every street and in every neighborhood all month long. These celebrations are straight up revelries to mark the feasts of the Saints with BBQs, traditional dances, streamers and tinsel decorations on nearly every street, and sardines everywhere! The festivals range from Mardi Gras-like (out of control crowds/party), to Oktoberfest-like (controlled but still a party), and some were simply like a neighborhood block party. We experienced the whole range, and I can easily say that my favorites were the local neighborhood block parties. Chad and I went to a few just the two of us, we took some visiting guests to check some out, and we took Sebastian to a late-night local festa on a beautifully decorated side street near our apartment. I watched our neighbors grill some of the biggest sardines I’ve ever seen and put them on bread to share with each other. I watched them dance and sing to traditional Pimba music, each singing the words louder than the next. I watched friends and strangers alike dance through the street, forming spontaneous Conga lines every now and again. I watched friends and families drink together at picnic tables, all doing their part to keep an eye on each other’s little ones running around as if it wasn’t midnight! Everyone was welcoming, generously sharing their city and traditions with us. Everyone was happy and peaceful and full of Portuguese pride. This particular festa (not the crazy packed, touristy, younger, DJ-loving crowded one) evoked a long pause of gratitude for where we are today. It was a night I’ll always remember.

As people began planning their summer vacations to include Portugal, I began to keep close track on the calendar. I wanted everyone to have their own time, and conversely, I wanted us to have our own time with them. As the calendar began to fill up for all of June, July, and some of August, we started to get a little concerned we would be doing the same things over and over again with each visitor. But thankfully, that’s not at all how it turned out.

I quickly came to realize that we were not the ones on vacation, and while we may have our own ideas of what a Stamm vacation looks like, so does everyone else for their own family. This allowed us to have rough ideas or suggestions for each family to do or see certain things we thought they might enjoy, but in the end, we truly went with their desired flow. Some wanted to sightsee, some didn’t. Some wanted to eat Portuguese food, some didn’t. Some wanted to pack each day with new things to do and see, some wanted to just hang out with us and join in on our day-to-day life-abroad activities. It was an experience like none I’ve ever had.

With each family, we spent time differently, ate at different restaurants (with a few necessary repeats), and tried not to repeat any major activities, all in the same city! There were, of course, a few common things we did with everyone, as Lisbon has a few must-sees that we never mind repeating. But, I really enjoyed each person’s visit and appreciated the amount of quality time we were able to spend with people that we might not have had that opportunity while living in CO. These visits gave us one-on-one time, and even though I know most chose Portugal for plenty of other reasons, I am so grateful for those that chose it because we are here.

Our summer has also consisted of the final days and Path to 50 events leading up to Chad’s 50th. Seb and I got Chad tickets to a huge music festival featuring Dua Lipa and Nathaniel Rateliff one night and Pearl Jam the second night. Sebastian’s motivation for this event might have been a touch self-serving as he was dying to see Dua Lipa, but it didn’t matter because we had a great time taking him to his first real music festival (and she didn’t even go on until midnight!). I loved seeing our local CO guy, Nathaniel Rateliff, play and felt super nostalgic seeing him play in Portugal with the Rocky Mountains in the background on the screen behind him. We didn’t get tickets for the second night for Pearl Jam as they were pricey and sold out, but I was dying to hear them play as I’ve never seen them live. So, we left Seb at home, and Chad and I grabbed a picnic blanket, a bottle of wine, and some dinner. We camped out on the side of the road with about 100 other people and listened right outside the venue. They did not disappoint.

We traveled back to Spain to meet up with the Duarts for the long-anticipated Dwamm summer trip. We started in a city we had not only never been to but also THE city that was the top contender for where we considered moving -- Valencia. I’m not sure I can be objective in my opinion on whether or not we would have liked living there versus Portugal at this point, so I’m not going to comment on that. I will say there was a lot I liked about the city and the beach was absolutely gorgeous. AND, that the water wasn’t so cold that we couldn’t get in was a huge plus. Next stop was Seville. This was a favorite city for me when Chad and I went many years ago, and it was just as great this time around. We were warned of the summer heat in Spain, and unfortunately, we were there during one of the hottest weeks of the summer with temps reaching 108F degrees (42 degrees Celsius). It was oppressive and made it really hard to be outside for long periods of time. But with water spray fans, lots of ice cream, cold beverages, and good friends, we persevered and had a great time.

The Duarts came back to Lisbon with us for some Portugal vacay time and to celebrate the long-awaited 5-0 with Chad. We were so happy they were here, and I’M so happy he’s finally 50, and we could reveal his remaining Path to 50 Events we had planned. We spent the day exactly as Chad wanted to, out and about in Lisbon, and ended the evening at a chic rooftop bar surrounded by some of our oldest and dearest friends from home and newer friends from Portugal. It was a great day.

The day after the Duarts left, I quickly turned over the guestroom for the pet sitter, and we left to meet up with Kristin and Mason down in the Algarve for a vacation of our own! We’d been to the Algarve before but never with a car. This was a game changer in that it allowed us to see so many different towns along the gorgeous coast of Portugal. My words will not do these amazing places justice, nor will the photos of the beaches, beautiful cliffs, or caves we kayaked into. I can only say that you should go and see it for yourself. It’s so worth it, and I can’t wait to see all the others we missed another time. 

So, I guess that’s a wrap on my first season of being a Real Housewife of Lisbon. I’ve learned a lot about myself this year, I’ve learned so much about Portugal and the beginnings of speaking Portuguese (or as Seb calls it, Portanol). I’ve savored every moment of having and spending quality time with my family, I’ve met so many new and wonderful people, and most importantly, I’ve mastered the art of hanging clothes!

We’re well into the planning for year two and while I truly miss all of my peeps, I am really excited for what still lies ahead. 

 

Another pretty big thing that happened this summer was my middle school performance in Oliver! I played Oliver! It was so fun and a lot of work, but so worth it! After only a few rehearsals even the people who had never spoken to each other before were best friends. It was a very close community where we could all try anything and everything without feeling embarrassed. That’s honestly a very big reason I love theater. The day of the show was so fun because we were at the theater the whole day, just running through the show over and over and over. When we weren’t running the show, we were all hanging out in the dressing room, just laughing and messing around, pretending our last-minute jitters weren’t there. Fast forward to 30 seconds before they opened the curtain, I was freaking out so much, because I had the very first solo and line of the whole show. But, I did it, and it turned out great. The best part was when I got to run through the audience right past my family! It was so funny!

 

Anyway, I know you have two three-page blogs to read, so I won't bore you with a third. So all for now. Byeeeeee!