It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog. It’s not for lack of funny expat stories or less-funny experiences simply trying to get Sebastian meds for strep. It’s not because we didn’t have a wonderful visit with my Dad and Rose. And it’s definitely not that I’m enjoying living here any less.

It’s that my family is under attack. My family was attacked in Israel on October 7^th, and so many of my other family members and friends are also now under attack either for supporting Israel’s right to defend itself and retaliate or just for being Jewish.

So, while I live my life in a beautiful, peaceful, and welcoming place, my sister, brother-in-law, and nieces run back and forth to their bomb shelter every time the siren goes off because rockets are fired nearby, and my nephew is deployed, ready and waiting to defend his country. They chose to live there to be part of something bigger than themselves. And while we may not always see eye to eye, none of that matters in a time like this. 

I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience every time I get a text from them, see the news, read an article online, or watch a video someone sends. I remember growing up and learning all about the Holocaust. In my adult years, historical fiction being my genre of choice, I’ve read so many different books about that time period and the atrocities that were carried out while the world watched. I have always thought, both as a kid and an adult, there is no way that could ever happen again in this day and age. I’m starting to wonder.

It's hard to know what to do when the reality is there isn’t much I can do from afar. Do I continue to live life as is, reminded daily how short and precious it can be? Do I immerse myself in the details of the conflict, trying to make sense of how it happened or how it should end? Do I constantly check facts from the information overload that seems to be coming in by the minute? Yes to all of it. The emotional roller coaster is real, and to quote my sister, I'm ready to get off the ride. So, I will continue to try and find a balance between continued gratitude for the life I’m living and constant worry each day when I wake up and go to sleep, about what might come next for my family in Israel. 

I am not here to proselytize or to tell you what side to be on. I am not here to tell you what I think should happen or what you should think. I will only ask that each and every person who reads this educate themselves, through multiple media sources, and find the truth about all that’s really happening. I am using my blog this round to record my thoughts and feelings during what feels like a very dark time in the hopes that one day, when I look back at it, I will know what I don’t know now. That is, history will not repeat itself, and this will get better instead of worse. That good, innocent people will stand up for other good, innocent people no matter what their race or religion. And, most important (to me) is that my family will stay safe. 

Thank you to everyone who has reached out, prayed, and/or stood up against evil and terror. 

Jaden, we love you so much and are equally as proud of you. You better believe that we’re still counting on your visit to Lisbon, so stay safe, be strong, and we’ll see you in a few minutes.