Lean In
September 19, 2023 •Everyone Said
![ChAlli with Rachael](https://43221531.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hub/43221531/hubfs/ChAlli%20with%20Rachael.png?height=630&name=ChAlli%20with%20Rachael.png)
ChAlli received their first guest... Welcome to Lisboa, Rachael! I hope you're ready because it's time to... lean in!
She Said: Vacation Turned Life -- Part 1
We went back to the department store that sells the school uniforms to pick up Sebastian’s pants, and I noticed a family, seemingly new to Portugal, waiting to pick up their school uniforms for a different school. I see the mom looking around and then looking up with a familiar expression when the red digital number system dings for the next number to be served. Same as me a few weeks ago, she rolls her eyes at her own mistake in not taking a number and grabs a ticket. I smiled to myself and approached her with my ticket to trade as she was there before me. I’m not sure which one of us felt more gratitude for the moment.
First order of business as a local, a supermarket discount card, of course. I filled out the application and proudly brought it back to the supermarket to receive my keychain plastic bar code. Every cent counts!
Next, local transportation cards. While Uber and pay-as-you-go metro/bus/trolly cards were working, it was time to tighten our belts and live like locals with an unlimited monthly pass (not tighten our money belts cause those are for tourists ;). We got applications from the local subway booth, and while it was easy to get them filled out and attach a photo, it was NOT easy getting them back to the accepting subway station for the card. We attempted no less than five times until we finally nailed it. Words of advice for anyone that might read this and apply for a card in Portugal: make sure you have your passport with you, don’t go in the afternoon, be sure you go to the right subway booth, and bring the application filled out!
Banking. I’m not sure about you all, but I cannot remember the last time I spent any amount of time in a local bank branch. When I say time, I mean approximately two hours. I was now keen on this Portuguese number system, so the moment we stepped into Millennium Bank, I went right to the kiosk to grab a number and waited to meet with a bank employee. After a moderate wait, we met with Susana with goals to change our address and to request bank cards. We left, two hours later, with a temporary bank card, a tutorial on the ATM machine (for which I was quite grateful), an address change in the system, and, get this, health insurance! Yep, it’s a thing here to get health insurance through the bank. Susana was wonderful. She went through a few options for medical and dental and efficiently got us all signed up for about 60 euros per month. Medical and dental, for all three of us, 60 euros per month. She laughed at our jaw-dropping expressions at the cost, though it was clear that she’d definitely seen it before from other Americans.
Appliances. Everything has pictures. The oven, the stove, the washing machine, the dishwasher, the microwave, the AC, the fridge, everything! And because everything is a picture, I have to consult the manuals for every single appliance in order to know what the picture stands for. Does it mean boil? Does it mean cook? Does it mean cotton or delicate? Does it mean AC or heat? Who knows without the manual legend? And, to make it harder, not all manuals have an English section. So, there’s me all day, trying to find my glasses and my phone so Google Translate can tell me how to run this place!
Cooking. I was thinking that the notion of me cooking was enough for those of you who know me well to make you laugh. Nope, it gets a lot better. As mentioned above, the microwave, the oven, and whatever induction stovetop means ALL have pictures to represent settings. So, I need a computer for recipes, manuals to make all the things work, an App on my phone to convert Fahrenheit to Celsius, cups to liters, etc. all while scrutinizing ingredients to determine if there’s gluten in the food I’m making! Have I mentioned how great the wine is here yet?
Dog Shit. It seems that people living in Portugal do not feel it a high priority to clean up after their dogs. I cannot tell you why. I can only say they suck. So between walking carefully on the uneven cobblestone (especially when it rains) and bobbing and weaving dog shit, there is no room for distracted walking here. What happens when you do? You take a header from a pole smack dab in front of you. Portugal dog shit=3. Stamms not stepping in it=0.
Back to School night. I actually LOVE back-to-school nights in general, but I was really anticipating this one so that I could see Sebastian's new school and meet his teachers. It was brilliant (my favorite British word). We got lanyards saying we were his parents and therefore allowed to pick him up (oops, needed those on day 1), heard all about the structure of Sebastian's day, met his teachers for each subject (who all think Sebastian is "brilliant and getting on quite well so far"), and listened to the Headmaster speak (Head Teacher is the proper name to call him, says Sebastian). Listening to other parents' many questions and/or concerns re: book selections, snacks, etc., I was struck by how few of any of those I actually had (very unlike me). I felt good about our choice of schools and didn't feel a need to do anything but listen. The best part, watching the ease and level of comfort that Sebastian emitted while showing us around after only one month in a new school, new country, with new friends. I let out a big sigh of relief and felt so proud of him upon leaving that night.
First visitor is… Rachael! So much fun having her here, and she came just in time for us to put the last Ikea bed together and finally get hot water! Thanks for "leaning in" with us. We’ll see you in six months, Aunt Ray Ray!
Aunt Ray Ray Says:
Lean In!
Lisbon was an awesome opportunity to try out a new mantra: “Lean in!” After a few silly mistakes with flights (thank God for long layovers and the opportunity to experience new airports in London ), I arrived to the Stamms’ new residence in Estefania. The guest room was on its maiden voyage with my visit, and I was thrilled to be able to help Alli, Chad, and Seb perfect their “out-of-town guest agenda”! Having come completely unprepared for the language, the sights, and generally most of life, it was time to lean into the experience! Oh, did I mention that the lean-in started 30 hours before with an impromptu concert with Bill when I should have been packing? The good: I made it with essentials like underwear, the bad: Only had two shirts so shopping was a must!
Portuguese experiences were not in short demand! I won’t go into all the details. I know many of the readers of this blog will be visiting themselves, but WOW! What a charming city, with a native population of friendly folx who were willing to help me through the language barrier. FYI, for those of you who speak Spanish – you’ll understand a good portion, AND, it will seriously not help you! Ha!
Okay, back to the experiences! Each neighborhood feels slightly different, from touristy-feels areas like the Praça do Comércio to trendy shops and energy in the LxFactory, a rainy day of shopping in the upscale beach town of Cascais, water views in Belém, all the way to street artists with incredible talent in Chiado. The food, oh man, where do we start? The neighborhood feel of the food market in Campo de Ourique, the chaos of the culinary experience that is Time Out with stalls from chefs with Michelin stars, Fado in Bairro Alto, and the creativity and playfulness of Mini Bar in Chiado. We were never short of opportunities to sit and enjoy great food.
The best part of this lean-in was the opportunity to experience it with the Stamms. Excited, patient, and open to a longer-term guest within two weeks of moving to the county and one week of finding a long-term rental, I will be forever grateful for the loving welcome I received from Alli, Chad, Seb, and Cody! Sardines, hilly runs, quiosques, trying local everything, Chad-Assery, home decorating, school pick-ups, pedicures – each will live in my memory with fondness. This is the type of soul re-setting you long for on vacations, and it was founded in family. Thank you for the opportunity to experience wonder, culture, history, and food in a safe, hilarious, and loving way! Can’t wait for the next opportunity, ya know, Aunt Ray-Ray only comes to visit every six months!
Cody Said:
Ok, so this pooping on cobblestone thing is the new norm. I mean, it’s not that hard. I just stop walking and go, no biggie. It’s like I was born to be a city dog! I overhear my people talking about our new apartment and how it’s going to be so much better for me with grass this and poop that and dog park blah blah blah. I’ll be the judge of that cause while I love my people, my trust in them has been pushed to the outer limits this month.
Pre-apology to all of the Beagles out there, but can I ask, what’s with all of the howling? I mean, there are A LOT of you here in Portugal. All that howling is just too much for my sensitive ears. I mean, ambulances, people, other dogs, you name it, and those guys howl at it. Weird. Also, they hump a lot. Have I mentioned I’m sensitive about my double-coated butt? Well, I am.
So, I met someone new. What’s her name (we really don’t know her name, so nameless she will stay), the toy Aussie (insert cheesy soap opera romantic music here). No details as there may be young readers but let’s just say she’s kinda into me. Like a lot. Like more than a friend. Ok, no more. A gentleman does not kiss and tell.
Overall, life is getting easier for me. Except when they put that stupid Haltie collar on to make me stop pulling them. You should see the dramatic interpretation of a walk I do when they torture me with it. Imagine the slowest cartoon dog walk meets the walk of shame (I hang my head real low, it’s hilarious). They don’t think it’s that funny, but they give me lots of treats so I keep going.
Let me say one thing about apartment living, and then I’m done. Living on the first floor and having supersonic sensitive ears, I hear ALL of the people in the building coming and going. I hear them talking when they come in. I hear other dogs walking to go out. I hear the mailman filling the mail slots. I hear the garbage people dragging the cans at like midnight. I hear it ALL. And get this, my people say I’m not allowed to bark at them. Um, what? I’m a dog. I am here to serve and protect, and there is no better way to alert my people to stranger danger than to bark. But, noooo. They tell me, “it’s not your business, Cody, no barking Cody, QUIET CODY!” I know when the lady gets that tone, I’m in trouble. So, now I try to keep my bark to a subtle chicken cluck, and when I’m quiet, they give me a treat. Problem solved. Except when I do bark. Sometimes a dog just needs to bark. Period.
So, my buddy Sebastian is now at school and daddy works on that annoying computer all day. But… I HAVE MOMMY home now! We go for walks, runs, coffee shops, pet stores, you name it! It’s like a weekend for us every day now! I just follow her everywhere and she keeps giving me love. Score!
But, I’m tired. This city thing takes it out of you. So much to see every time we go outside. So much to smell just lying there on the ground. So many dogs that either want to play with me or bark at me (those little ones are feisty!). I can’t say for sure since it’s in Portuguese, but I’m pretty sure they are saying how gorgeous I am and what great eyes I have and what a nice double-coated butt I have. Duh. And, I'll have you know that all of this walking has shaved off a few pounds so I'm really rocking it!
I need a nap.
He Said:
When I was a little boy, I remember my grandfather out in the driveway, hour by hour, as he built a sailboat. By hand. He bent boards to fit the hull. He sanded and painted those boards. He constructed an entire mast out of a single log, and then each night, he would come inside to my grandmother's cooking, likely a garlic-loaded chicken dish, and he would eat it with sore fingers caused by his day in the driveway. And that's what he named his boat when he was done -- the Sorefingers.
We sailed just about every weekend if my memory is correct. We searched the Gulf of Mexico for pods of dolphins and big schools of jellyfish. Sometimes, there would be so many of them I thought the sea was white. But one day, on a late morning when it was quite windy, that homemade mast snapped about two-thirds of the way up, and the ole Sorefingers was mothballed for good.
These are some of my greatest childhood memories. Wondering just how far that water went. Curious to know if we could make it all the way to Mexico on the roast beef sandwiches Grandma packed, those and the cans of grape soda. So I guess you could call me the son of a daughter of a sailor, and at a very young age, I always had the urge to go, to see what was over the horizon, and to experience life through a different lens. Since we've been here in Portugal, we have operated under the rule that nothing is better, nothing is worse. It's just different. But for people like me, different is inherently better because different provides the rush of excitement that only new perspectives can lend. While some might hang off the sides of cliffs or jump out of airplanes, exploring a new city and a new country is my adrenaline.
What I've found is that Portugal is built on that same spirit -- to go and discover. And it's an easy philosophy to slip into. It's a nation that found many new horizons in its glory days, whether it be Vasco de Gama, Henry the Navigator, or any one of another dozen or so famous Portuguese explorers. And it's a population that has always had its eyes bent toward the seas. Now, the Portuguese are seeing people come in the other direction as more and more people like us move here, for better or worse.
"You see," the cable guy said to me when he was here installing the internet -- and to be sure, many of the Portuguese people I've met are proud to talk about Portugal. "You see, a long time ago, Portugal discovered the world. It's okay because now the world is discovering Portugal."
And that's the spirit the people here seem to have. It's a friendliness we've noticed from the very beginning, since we began looking at Lisbon as a landing spot. It's a tolerance most people seem to have of others moving to their country. It's a proverbial door that's open to Portuguese culture when so many countries around the world are quick to slam that door shut, to shield their customs from those who might be different. You often hear non-assimilation as an argument against immigration, but in many instances, those making that argument are the same ones closing off their culture from the immigrants thus making assimilation impossible. Not here. Not from what we've seen. And I think that openness becomes quickly apparent in just a short amount of time. I'm pretty sure that's what Rachael was referring to in her section of the blog.
We had such an awesome time hanging with Rachael. We're grateful for the housewarming plants, for the awesome dinner at Mini Bar, for the poster that now has additional sentiment with the loss of Jimmy Buffett, and most importantly, just to have her here visiting. Many people live for that "trip of a lifetime," but I think Rachael shares in our belief of the opposite, that all trips to all places carry equal weight, and we really prefer to live "a lifetime of trips." The guest room is now referred to as Rachael's Room. See you in six months!
Our time with Rachael didn't seem long enough because, no matter where you go or how long you're there, you always have a reason to go back. You always miss something. But what we did get to do was see a tall ship festival on the Sunday when Rachael was in town. They planned to assemble all the vessels near Praça do Comércio before setting sail under the April 25th Bridge and right out into the Atlantic before turning for Spain. I couldn't help but think about Jimmy Buffett as I watched, how his death is really hitting me hard, and how he probably could have written a song about a ghost fleet of antique sailing ships charting a course for the unknown. And I certainly couldn't help thinking about my grandfather, who always tried to find the tall ship parades whenever he could. As I watched the vessels align in formation before heading toward the horizon, I couldn't help but think about the ocean, how it had been the source of so much mystery in my childhood, and how, since I was three feet tall, I always wanted to know what was on the other side. Now, I am on the other side. I'm actually living there.
"Grandpa, if we keep sailing the Sorefingers straight out to sea, how long will it take before we get to Mexico?"
"I don't know, Chadder," he'd say, "but one day, I think you'll find out."
Sebastian Said:
Aunt Ray Ray being here has been amazing but, at the same time, hard. (Nothing against you Aunt Ray Ray!) It has been amazing because it gave me a little taste of what the next year is gonna look like, hence, visitors. It also felt like a sense of Colorado comfort. However, there is also a bad side to that: missing Colorado even more. The other bad part is that it is right around the Jewish holidays, which is normally a time when we go over to family's house and have a big celebration and pretty much a whole feast. During the Jewish holidays this year, however, we obviously can not go to their house whenever we want to go celebrate. That has been kind of hard for me because the holidays have been kind of lonely. However, it was also super fun because we got to go to so many places that we wouldn't have if there had not been someone in town. For example, I have never been to the famous pastry factory in Belém to get my favorite, pasties de natá. I have also never been to the top of the explorers' monument. We did that When Aunt Ray Ray was here.
Another thing that has happened since my last blog is that, Oh, you know, we moved into our apartment. Now, I am sure that most people already know this because we have kept in touch, but for those that don’t, we did. I have also started school. It has made it feel more like we have a daily routine to make it feel more like home so that it doesn’t feel like we are unsettled. The past month has been full of an unsettling feeling and I am so relieved that that is over. We can finally unpack all of our bags and relax.
I think that the first day of school was actually a lot better than I thought it would be. I thought it would be me eating lunch alone and not having any friends like they show in the movies, but, it was actually a pretty easy transition, other than the ”uniform checks“. These are where they make sure our ties are done all the way up, our shirts are tucked in, the top button is done, and our shoes are tied. Another very different thing is that before each lesson they will make us put our stuff in our locker and then stand behind our chair in silence while we wait for the next teacher to come in. That’s the other thing, they always or most of the time come to us versus in America where the students go to the teachers and switch classrooms.
I generally have around 30 to 40 minutes to get ready in the morning. On Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays I have to wear the whole shebang; button down shirt, tie, dress shoes, blazer and nice pants. Wednesdays and Fridays are my “comfy days“ cause I can wear my PE uniform, which is just a collared T-shirt and sport shorts. It is also a lot easier to pee in so I don’t have to untuck and re-tuck everything (TMI? K, cool, I didn’t think so). One of the “rituals“ that me and my mom have created is on the way home from school, about twice a week, I convince her to go and get Boba Tea. About half the time I pay for it with my punchcard and debit card, which I am proud to say I have money saved in. But, the other part of the time she pays if we haven’t gotten it in a while. Another fun thing we do that we did in Colorado is listen to an audiobook together on the commute to school.
I also think that it is quite fun to be able to completely furnish/decorate the apartment from scratch. For example, putting up paintings, picking out coffee tables, picking what movie channels I want. It’s so fun! Well, anyway, I will write more next blog, but essentially, I have pretty much covered the whole time from when we moved out of the Airbnb and into our apartment. Also, we had to go to a city on the border of Spain to get our visa card. But that is another blog in and of itself. Well, as the Portuguese say, Adeus!
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